A Town in North Ontario

hard times

this has been a difficult and wonderful year. lots of work, lots of moving,marraige death, ect.

me and ash are about to embark on a few months of travel. we will visit montreal, NYC, singapore, s.e. asia, and will hopefully hit tokyo on our return trip.

  sorry this is a lame posting, i will add more later.

  bon voyage!

Delayed Memories Gone Askew

It was a dark and stormy night...twas September 20th. I was on a boat named the the "Nemesis of the Sea". Turns out the sea was not so friendly to threats. Who would've thought that? But yeah, jumped and went a swimming in an ocean that welcomed me only to drown. So I says to the ocean, "FUCK YOU!!! You wet and moist dank ass excuse for a medium. Who are you to judge!!! I chose the boat outta spite for the right to party, and not outta maliciousness".

Guess that wasn't a good enough excuse for the home of creatures who wander aimlessly in hopes of either finding things anew, or escaping the laws of nature. Now, it's time to digress. Laws of nature? What, like the 'big fish eat the little fish'? Fine, but parasites and viri (ya ya, it's viruses, but viri's much more viral) can take down anything.

Just like when those belligerent aliens came to conquer earth, they gots the red algae surprise. So these so-called laws can only be trusted as far as we can travel througout space. Scientists and what not can predict and they're probably correct, but still, who knows? The laws, some might say like limits {though not Bell's limit in terms of this line o thought eh}, are meant to be broken. And yea, they're finding out that the speed 'limit' of light ain't so fast apparently. Go on "Spooky entanglements" and shine on you crazy diamonds.

Time to digress from the digression and return to where? The brutal body of water that swallowed my head. Though this sea had ponds of poison to creates the waves of all that reside in our thoughts. And with this, I not only swayed in the undertow of these currents, but resurfaced every now and then in ponds of perfected peace. This was fine by me, but fleeting moments rowed around to cause the Charybdis in service of the Scylla to quickly persuade me to look for the "Nemesis".

Ahh, yar, found it over me left shoulder. Got me arse back on and though am still wondering about water, am drying up @ least for the time being. Also, realized it's Sept 22nd (well, actually technically Nov 24th if you count the posted date). Hmm, what happened to the 21st?

d v.0.1

isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?

- warhol

we photograph things in order to drive them out of our minds.

- kafka

shut your eyes and you'll burst into flames.

- log lady

see the rest of the series here

Blogged 21x

"Nothing ever goes according to plan" - Emit Remmus - Red Hot Chili Peppers{The pics are exhibit A, B, and C in order from left to right, but following in an up and down motion...kinda like a sine/cosine wave. Also, the sign in exhibit C is far off in the distance left of the hut...course the formatting's all messed now...again, please refer to the RHCP}

14:00

Right before writing this, a certain phenomenon was being {and probably will concurrently be throughout the handwritten portion of this entry} observed with a child's eye. Nothing spectacular, just neat. The child is me, and the phenomenon is merely the simple reflection of sunshine radiating over my right shoulder, hitting the chrome tip of the pen, and reflecting a cosmic universe of light and what appears similar to a universe unto the page {Exhibit A + B if you will}. Whoopee doo dah, but what's special to me though is that this could not have occurred had I not been sitting @ this precise angle with my head forming a shadow of about an inch onto the page. This allowed the necessary space for the light to be cast in its circular/spiralling manner. Once either I [as a whole], my pen, my head, the page, and later the sun changed position; numerous re-positionings would be required to produce the desired effect again. In fact, even afer about the time it took to jot this down, some variation of the angles was indeed necessary!

The time now's about 14:40. In the past 40 mins, I've spoken to my buddy Carl and we've done some planning for our trip to Egypt. There's a lot of excitment about what we'll do there, but we also naturally have to take care of such mundane things as booking hotels, trains, acquiring visas, and getting travel insurance. The latter’s needed because Egypt might not be the safest place and incidents with tourists in the past can cause a bit of worry. Thus the reason I haven’t really mentioned to my family of this excursion in the desert. I figure to tell them before going, but in the meantime why cause them excess stress.

Speaking of which, as a side note, I must mention something that is troubling my mind: NOVA…yeah, guess that’s all I have to say about that. I’m going to call my buddy who’s an AT and hasn’t been paid yet. I’d like to know the situation to find out if NOva’s going to go bust. The events of this day could decide whether I stay in Japan. I want to, but am unsure of this job’s security. It sucks monkey arses because it feels so foreign and ‘grown-up’ {precisely what I was/am trying to avoid by coming here and simply working a relatively straightforward job}. I want time, I want mind space. What for??? To be able to create!!! I want to write, and I feel I got to get on it soon. Nothing’s stopping me but my own accord, volition, and willingness to forget about that which I cannot change; and to do as I truly wish. To be independent; to be enlightened; to be. This touches upon this day itself.

My plans were [and still possibly are]: to sleep early the night before, wake up early {round 4:00 or 5:00} to run/train, then go back to shower/eat, fire off some emails, go climbing in Yokohama, come back home and record some guitar tracks, eat, fuck off and go write something substantial for ‘Unplugged’ in the donut shop, come back, chill out with the housemate, have a smoke, snack, get ready for bed, jot more notes for this, sleep {early work day tomorrow so no drunk-ass antics…or maybe???} Now, as circumstance will show now, I’m actually a little down and out of for a couple of reasons...though right in this moment I’m chilling listening to the mystical band ‘Kula Shaker’.

So here’s the situation: Nova shit stress and uncertainty. I just messaged the NOva buddy to find out if he got paid. Also, I’m a little sick [not just mentally heheheh], but my throat’s infected. It could possibly be the weather and pressure changes, screaming @ karaoke on Sunday, and drinking and smoking too much lately. It’s most likely a combo of them all along with the aforementioned NOva bullshit. And yeah, it’s also saddening that some folk have or are leaving NOva and Japan.

As Gav pointed out, it’s shitteh meeting cool people and having them in and out of your life so quickly. But c’est la vie, Ob-La-Di. I guess it also makes it interesting what with all the changes and different seasons of either weather, mindsets, or moods themselves. Anyhows, back to so-called everyday life events. As the pen light show demonstrated, everyday life can hold such oddities that they seem so surreal.

As a side-note, I laugh @ myself cuz of the memory of a ‘Family Guy’ episode where Peter’s looking/videoing the bag flying through the air {which is a spoof on ‘American Beauty’} and the god character’s all annoyed and like: “Do you know how complex your nervous system is???” The show’s point is true, yet I don’t think many of us realize this. I mean you can take it as “hahaha, what a dumbass staring @ stupidity”; or the flipside’s “Whoa that’s trippy. That’s life, that’s a pattern of existence. Awesome!!!” {And for those who have seen the world through foggy eyes, you know what I mean}

In this weird story, I find a greatness of life. That all things can be analyzed with the seriousness of a murder case, and can concurrently be laughed @ and along with the laughter of an insane jester. Speaking of which, I just found out my friend didn’t get paid. FUCK!!! Not til Tuesday they tell him. What does that mean??? Not sure. Need to walk, my bottom’s numb from sitting on the sand too long.

Walking back to my spot on the beach [which is fairly desolate cuz it’s a weekday]. I just saw a random green ball rolling across the beach being blown by {I likes alliteration} the wind. It had some good momentum, and I looked @ its trajectory and whether it was going to hit anyone. No one really in sight, coast is literally clear. Then I saw a sign {again literally, please refer to exhibit C}, and wondered if it would hit it. Whaddaya know, it did!!! Bang, target acquired and smacked yea eya!!!!!!

Well back to the divergence of post-original Sept 21st plans. I came back yesterday after climbing [which was a surprisingly decent session despite being really tired, having a headache and sore throat, and generally just feeling like shit]. But yeah, came back about quarter to midnight. Spoke with the roomie bout NOva, had a smoke and a beer, threw some laundry in the machine, put the kettle on. Somewhere between the start of the 21st and 2:00am (Japan time), I ate the soup, hung the laundry, and watched a documentary...well a lecture by Michael Tsarion.

Interesting fellow he is indeed. Actually since it’s over 3 hours long, I was technically finishing it. He discusses much of what’s wrong with the world on a psychological level, and how things in space and within our minds are changing. It’s cynical @ times and quite a bummer, but overall carries with it an optimistic message. He gives hope for better days, however, it’s not a message of hocus pocus, and thankfully not some dogmatic dialectic diatribe either. Instead, it contains guidance and mental preparation to further arm oneself with the proper tools to adjust to the future.

As another side-note I’ll mention a couple of other enlightening characters. Interest in this topic has spawned from a girl who taught me to think differently. Oddly enough, although we think very similar thoughts, they seem almost completely out of phase. For example, imagine a sine wave and a cosine wave. They are the same pattern and frequency, just out of phase. Oh well, such is life. We make and come to our own conclusions.

Regardless, she changed me, and so did the band TOOL {and to a lesser extent ‘Incubus’}. From there, these other teachers to name the recent few have also influenced me with their whacked out minds: Ayn Rand – Atlas Shrugged, Dan Brown – Angels and Demons, Stephen King – Dark Tower series, J.D. Salinger – The Catcher in the Rye, Drunvalo Melchizedek – Sacred Geometry, Gregg Braden – Zero Point, Michael Tsarion – 2012 The Future of Mankind {the latter can be viewed for free on google video [.ca, not sure if .com has them]}. Also, check out ‘Zeitgeist’, which is also a free third eye opener available on the net. But as Tsarion says, “Open up your third ear and listen to the aspects of your true self too”.

Of course these concepts owe a lot to psychoanalytic psychologists such as Freud and Jung. And though I don’t believe in everything they propose, their knowledge combined with cognitive and behavioural theories [Maslow, Skinner, etc.] can lead to better understandings of ourselves and the world {though I’m by no means an example of this…wakaranai???}

Phoned my NOva buddy, offered to strike…we’ll see what happens. Anyhows, slept, woke up @ 6 to 9 (8:54), not 4:20. Got ready, ate a kiwi, found out I couldn’t get the shot because of my sore throat. Luckily they didn’t charge. Went to get food [had a craving for bacon and eggs]. Got home, ate, and watched more about Tsarion. This time it was an interview about symbology {which is a real word despite what Willem Dafoe’s character said in ‘Boondock Saints’, though I think he was referring to the incorrect contextual usage}. Tsarion mentioned a lot of what Dan Brown mentions in his works, though probably 10 years before Brown. He was also most likely ignored as a quack. I dozed off, packed up, went to the beach.

Dozed off some more and began writing. Now up to this pt.

Days away, later, I can remember only fragments of what happened. After the beach, spoke with the roomie some more bout the shitteh situation of NOva. We started drinking, played some euchre, got Mexican food, chilled and learnt a secret recipe from a hottie part time chef from the restaurant. The owner, a cool surf dude was drunk, fell asleep on my roomate @ the restaurant. We then left, and saw him and the hottie chef driving home drunk assed on bicycles. I have nothing more to rant about at this moment in time about the 21st. It was an interesting and fun/funny day (omoshiroi {I like this Japanese word}). Thanks to Gav and all those who organized this creatively excellent event. Adios.

Fourth Thing

My mental and physical space

Japan

On September 21st I…
woke-up, felt like shit, put my futon away, shitted, pissed, washed my hands, made toast, drank juice, talked to my friends, had a shower, packed my bag, walked to the station, went to Yokohama, bade farewell to my friends, went home, procrastinated, used the internet, listened to music, daydreamed, took a nap, threw some rubbish in the bin, played guitar, listened to children playing in the street, looked at the weeds in my garden, ate some food, took a shower, talked to my grandfather on the phone, put on a suit I don’t like, walked to the station, went to work, started work, looked at girls, fantasized, taught some students, studied japanese, drew a picture, ate some food, taught students again, finished work, took a crowded train home pressed up against some salary men, went to a 100 yen store, bought some shit, meandered home, cooked some food, searched the internet, read some e-mails, contributed to a forum, masturbated, washed my hand, drank some water, took a shower, dried myself, took out my futon, laid down, fell asleep.

I had fun on September 21st.


Carl Leitch